Upper Middle Bogans

She has way too much make-up on for a mother. I know she's young, but seriously? She must be single, she must spend more time on herself than with her own child. I guess that's her mother, she must get it from her, talk about 'mutton dressed as lamb'. That poor kid, can't they see he's just thrown up all over himself?

She is wearing blue 'jeggings', skater shoes and a top that's way too tight on her ex-baby belly. Not to mention her bleached blonde hair with black tips, and overload of make-up, and the infant in the pram. Then there's her mother, she looks slightly more... classy? I would not call her classy though. An upper-middle-bogan, to say the least. She's wearing jeans that are too tight, a top that's too small so her muffin top is showing, but she somehow pulls it off so it doesn't seem totally awful.

"Helloooo my beautiful darlin' boy! You are just bloody adorable, aren't you?", says his mother happily. "Say g'day to Nanna!".

- She still hasn't cleaned his chuck -

"When d'ya reckon he'll start talkin', Mum? I hope he isn't like undeveloped or anythin".

"Oh don't be silly darl', he's a bit young to start talkin yet.", she says comfortingly.

The girl gets her face in close to her son and makes kissing noises.

"Oh! That's adorable honey, let me get a photo of the two of ya together like that", says her mother excitedly.

"Awh just wait a sec, would ya? Let me clean him up first Mum!" she says in a rush. "Okay go ahead, don't take it if I look ugly though".

"Oh that's beautiful love, look at that!", she turns the phone around and holds it up so her daughter can see.

"Nice one Mum, I literally look hot in that! Can you send it to me? I wanna put it on my Instagram!", she says with a burst of excitement.

- She doesn't even know how to use the word 'literally' yet. Why on earth does she have a baby? -

"He really is beautiful, love. Hurry up and find a boyfriend already so you can give me a little girl too! You'd have beautiful girls honey!", says the girl's mother encouragingly.

"Well what about Shannon? You said Margo and you were gonna set him up on a date with me ages ago", she says to her mother defensively.

"She said he might be seeing a girl from his old high school now. I reckon he's just scared of the commitment though", says the mother speculatively.

- Wow! Am I actually hearing this? -

"God! Men are such pricks Mum. I don't know how you didn't split up with Dad earlier", says the girl angrily.

"That's right darl', they are pricks! And a prick is all they are good for. And that's the only thing they know how to work too!" she says with a laugh.

"God that's disgusting Mum, don't talk about that stuff!".

"It's only natural my love, you should know that by now!".